It’s really interesting to me how people come up with various names for their growing babies. I’ve heard a lot over the years (of course I can’t think of that many now). After many years with my husband and early discussions in relationship about nicknames, I know these can’t be forced. They just come to you. Our collective name is Frelaine which was created by his sister and is very popular and used all the time with our families and ourselves. #frelaine
Our baby is nicknamed Embers. Short for embryo.
How did this happen? Well, it was actually prior to the pregnancy that it happened while we were trying. I thought of it while we were wondering if there was an embryo in there (there wasn't’ at the time). The name stuck and immediately when finding out we were pregnant, we called Embers by the name.
Now that Embers isn’t actually an embryo anymore, Fred has gotten to call it Feetie. This is cute, but not as widely used by us as Embers and not really much by me. I do occasionally call it fetus too.
Our baby also has another name. One of his nieces came up with it when we told them we were expecting. It’s Frelaby which of course made sense with Frelaine.
We wanted to think of a fun way to tell Fred's nieces (ages 22, 19 and 14) that I am pregnant. We also wanted to tell them all together (two are in college). Since they were all home for a weekend, we were able to do this today.
We arranged with Fred's sister ahead of time that we would tell them. We FaceTimed one of them and spoke to everyone all at once.
We went through all of the normal catching up first and talking to each person. Then we said, hey we want to send you a funny Snapchat and see you open it together.
We had taken the pics already so we sent them. There were three:
They screamed in excitement. Right away one of them said “Frelaby!”. This was a nickname for our baby (since we go by Frelaine, it worked well).
We answered their questions and talked about it a bit more. One person asked the due date and I told them the reason I wouldn’t tell them. Then at least two of them admitted they would be asking me about when the baby was coming, which justified my decision not to tell them/anyone.
Today we got back from our trip to Hawaii. Because Fred just took a bunch of time off, we had to schedule the nuchal for today so he didn’t miss work again. We were home by 9:30am and really tired, so we napped before our 3:30pm appointment.
I found out which doctor was on the unit that day (the perks of going to the hospital where you work) and texted her in the morning. I wrote, “are you in FEU today?” She wrote back and said “yes, see you at 3:30! :) “ I was really happy she knew already I was coming, even without me telling her.
The wait time to be seen wasn’t too bad (I’ve heard otherwise at times). The tech we got was not super friendly or talkative. She barely spoke to us through the scan. It was so different than our first ultrasound. I told her my due date and she said, "well we base it on your period." I said fine and didn’t argue, knowing I would talk to the doctor afterwards to get it revised.
Midwife note: An accurate due date is really important, especially for a first baby. The most accurate time to have a pregnancy dated by sonogram is around 7-8 weeks. At this time, the due date is based on your last period, but if there is a discrepancy of more than 5 days, the due date is changed.
At 9-13 weeks, the due date is based on your last period, but if there is a discrepancy of more than 7 days, the due date is changed.
An accurate due date is important, especially for women who go past their due dates. It can help you to avoid an early induction (the cutoff for induction is no more than 42 weeks in most cases, but often practices say even earlier like 41 weeks).
The fetus was in there and now looks like a baby! Crazy! The fetus was also not very cooperative. It wouldn’t move in the right position for the nuchal. Finally she got it and it was normal. Phew. She printed us two pictures (that honestly aren’t very good).
Midwife note: The nuchal fold is an area of the back of the baby's neck. This is measured as a screening for chromosomal abnormalities. In things like Trisomy 21 (Down's syndrome) the nuchal fold can be increased.
It is still considered a screening and there are times where the neck fold is elevated that things are normal with the fetus. If it is elevated, further testing (like NIPT or invasive testing) are recommended.
I asked that the doctor come into the room and she did. She was super friendly and awesome, as usual. We talked about the due date and showed her the first scan. She changed my due date in the system. I’m so happy because it would have been 10 full days off had we not changed it, and the new measurement wouldn’t have indicated a change from last period. Long story short, really happy we had the early scan.
We left, happy with everything. We went to dinner at a place called Empanada Mama, which is an old favorite restaurant, and had a great dinner. We sent pics to our parents which they were very happy about.
A pregnant midwife living and working in New York City